Hello. I've been editing for the past three weeks, and I'm about tired of words at this point. But hopefully, you're not, because I've decided to release a vast amount of my writing for your consumption, or for you to ignore, right here on my very own website. It's very black and white and I hope that appeases any cold and calloused heart that might find themself this way. If you're here, welcome. I hope you leave stained irreparably with this gross misconduct I call "writing."
I've wanted to write for as long as I could remember. My first memory of writing is scribbling on my mother's wall with crayons, jotting down great, poetic passages musing on nihilistic themes that have made me what I am today: a joyful and passionate human being. You might say I was gifted. Or special. Now, you might say I'm strange. Or dumb. Either way, we've come a long way together, you and I, and together we'll march on, side by side. You're likely a writer, too, so we'll be in competition. But passingly. I would never do anything to undermine your success for mine, just like I would never assert anything unnecessarily.
The truth is, you've probably stopped reading at this point because goldfish now have a one-up against the human attention span. For those that have made it this far, I have decided to sprinkle in "incentives" to keep you moving forward. For example, here is a cat with a cowboy hat:
The real truth is, like every artist, I'm exhausted by trying to be successful in a world that seems to look down on quality art, choosing instead the run-of-the-mill, big-industry whittled madness that we encounter every day. There are exceptions. For example, Kanye West and Cardi B are brilliant. But, this is why I'm here to tell you, I am not a corporate plant, put here to seem genius while actually listening to you similarly, but not quite similar, to the way your Alexa device might. If you hear a giggle from your corner, it's not me, it's a bug. Not a listening device, like a bug with chitin. This sounds a bit like kitten, so I'd refer you to the picture again. Of course, this is not a kitten, it's a grown cat, which brings me to my next point.
Time is running out for all of us. We all know that AI will soon replace human writers and they will be way easier to send form rejections to. So in the meantime, I'm going to make one last pitch at you: read everything on this website. Read this writing, share it with your friends, eat it in your cereal, but more importantly, share it with your friends. Only you can prevent the AI invasion. Which makes me want to make a meme. Brb.
I feel way better now. So, now that we've got the important stuff out of the way, here's what you can expect from me.
1. Creative writing that comes with plenty of content warnings because the shit is horrible.
2. Blogs like this one, or some that are less serious.
3. Occasional spilling of TMI personal information.
4. The love your mother and father never gave you.
8. ...and then they'll see...
Have a wonderful Sunday. I'll catch you next week or so if I don't grow tired of this effort by then.